Shared Death Experiences

Near-Death Experience Defined

In Raymond Moody’s original work (Moody 1975) he identified a common set of elements in NDEs:

(a) an overwhelming feeling of peace and well-being, including freedom from pain.
(b) the impression of being located outside one's physical body.
(c) floating or drifting through darkness, sometimes described as a tunnel.
(d) becoming aware of golden light.
(e) encountering and perhaps communicating with people who are already dead and or a "being of light".
(f) having a rapid succession of visual images of one's past.
(g) experiencing another world of much beauty.

The existence of the NDE has been firmly established (Anon., 2021, Greyson 1983, 1985). The Near-Death Research Foundation has over 4,800 recorded experiences (Long, 2021). Research into this altered state of consciousness continues (Martial 2020).

Shared Death Experiences

Moody (2010) published accounts of people who shared the NDE and of people who shared the death experience of another.

Cases

Dana shared a life review with her husband while he was dying. She had not been aware of some vivid images and events. At the age of 55, her husband was diagnosed with terminal cancer and had six months to live. She never left his side for the next six months. She held him as he died. There was an electric sensation and then it “felt like he went right through her body.” When that happened, their whole life sprang up around them. It seemed to swallow up the whole hospital room and everything in it. There was a bright white light surround them. She states that she and Johnnie knew it was Christ.

“Everything we ever did was there in that light. Plus I saw him doing things before we were married. … I saw him with girls when he was very young. Later I searched his high school yearbook and was able to find them just based on what I saw during the life review before his death.” She also saw herself holding his body and he was right beside her viewing his life together. The life review was like a wraparound scene of everything they had experienced together. In the middle of the life review, the child that was lost to a miscarriage early in their marriage appeared. She was not a person but more like the outline of a sweet, loving presence of a little girl. “Another thing that was odd about the wraparound life review was that in certain parts there were panels or dividers that kept us from seeing all of it. … I knew that someday we would be able to see behind those panels too.”

The Anderson family from a suburb of Atlanta Georgia sat beside their dying mother. One of the sisters told the following story that was corroborated by the family members. “The day my mother died my two brothers, my sister, my sister-in-law and I were in the room.” They were not upset because their mother had taken a long time to die and the end was finally near. “Suddenly there was a bright light in the room. ... I nudged my sister to see if she saw it too, and when I looked at her, her eyes were as big as saucers. At the same time I saw my brother literally gasp. Everyone saw it together and for a little while we were frightened.” Her mother expired. “At that moment, we saw vivid bright lights that seemed to gather around and shape into … I don’t know what to call it except an entrance-way. The light looked a little bit like clouds. We saw her lift up and go through the natural bridge / entrance-way.” Being by the entrance-way there was a feeling of complete joy. Her brother called it a joyful feeling. Her sister heard beautiful music (none of the others did).

Pat and Nancy were at their mother’s death when she died of lung cancer. As her breathing became more labored the room began to “light up.” It felt like the room began to swirl quickly, at first, and then slowed to a stop. They found themselves standing with their mother who looked decades younger. Together the three women were emersed in her life review. It was filled with many scenes they had not seen as well as some they had experienced with her. They saw their mother with her first boyfriend and they learned that she had feelings for a widower down the street (following the death of her husband).

The accounts from Moody and others (Barrett, 1926, Fenwick and Fenwick, 2008) are basically the same and reflect the experience of deathbed visions and the NDE. Moody reports one case in which a Mr. Sykes talked with his brother just before Sykes died. It was later learned that the brother had died of a massive heart attack a few days before. This event was seen by several people including his wife and hospice workers.

Summary of Shared Experiences

Moody summarizes shared experiences as follows:

Changes in geometry: It opens a world where time and space are not a factor.

Mystical light: The dying person may light up and a translucent light in the room is seen. It is thought this often leads to a change in the living person’s personality. However, there is no good research at this time to form a conclusion.

Music and musical sounds: usually an ethereal beautiful hum. At times, it may be music as we think of it.

Out of body experience: Surge of unnatural energy or hearing a rushing sound. The living may perceive themselves as out-of-body, near the ceiling and at times (20%) accompany the dying person to the afterlife. The dying often looks much younger and happier.

Co-living a life review: witness only lives parts of the review and at times experiences the effects the dying person had on others. The same as the usual NDE report only in some ways limited. One mother said parts of her son’s life review were blurred out like the views on a TV when trying to conceal someone’s face.

Encountering otherworldly or “heavenly” realms: Witnesses who accompany the dying see dead relatives as well as spirits, angels, and what may be religious figures though they are not often sure of exactly who the religious figures are. Witnesses also see enhanced beautiful environments in an ethereal light.

Mist of death: witness see a mist, often over the heart. Sometimes described as water swirling within the water. It is like looking into a window elsewhere.

Moody takes care to point out that none of his cases report all of these elements. Many reports have several elements. Nearly all say the experience is difficult to explain in words. One person said, “I can tell you what happened, but its spiritual effect seems to know no bounds.”

These shared experiences with NDE and with deathbed visions are also reported by Barrett (1926) and Fenwick and Fenwick (2008).

Conditions that lead to a shared NDE or Deathbed Vision

It may be the dying person who initiates the process. However, Moody’s cases lead to the suggestions, that need further research that there are two main factors that may lead to the experience.

1. A well-developed sense of empathy.

2. Acceptance of imminent death as a part of life.

References

Anon (2021). https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Near-death_experience

Fenwick, P. And Fenwick, E. (2008). The Art of Dying. London: Continuum Press.

Greyson, B. (1983). The Near-Death Experience Scale: Construction, reliability, and validity. Journal of Nervous & Mental Disease, 171, 369-375. see also https://iands.org/research/nde-research/important-research-articles/698-greyson-nde-scale.html

Greyson, B. (1985). A typology of near-death experiences. American Journal of Psychiatry, 142, 967-969.

Long, J. And Perry, P. (2010) Evidence of the Afterlife. NY: HarperOne

Long, J (2021) Near-Death Experience Research Foundation. http://www.nderf.org

Martial, C. Et al (2020). Near-Death Experience as a Probe to Explore (disconnected) Consciousness. Trends in Cognitive Science Vol 24 (3), 173-183. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1364661319303122

Moody, R. (1975) Life After Life: the investigation of a phenomenon – survival of bodily death, San Francisco, CA: Harper Collins (reissued 2015)

Moody, R. and Perry, P. (1993) Reunions: visionary encounters with departed loved ones, New York, NY: Villard Books.

Moody, R. and Perry, P. (2010) Glimpses of Eternity: Sharing a loved one's passage from this life to the next, New York, NY: Guideposts.

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